The DOs and DON’Ts of Butt Cleavage:

29 07 2010

Butt cleavage has been a taboo subject in the Americas for many a year. But its proper usage within an understanding of its power is an important thing to discuss nonetheless. After all, it was Nostradamus who foretold the end of Europe’s Black Plague with the rise of the Butt Cleavage Culture.  In this doctoral dissertation, we shall analyze the main types of butt cleavage and their proper usage.

Ah yes, the fat girl butt cleavage. The most prevalent and most misunderstood. To begin with, this type of BC is filled with a mix of emotions. Girl butts are usually a source of admiration for men. But in this case, you’re mixing that admiration and desire with love handles, a well observed tramp stamp – of a butterfly no less, and an overflow of possible stink crack. (Fat people sweat more than others, that’s a fact.) Now I’m sure this lady is a great person and cares for her elderly grandmother and one-eyed, wheelchair bound younger brother, while holding down two jobs. But, and most importantly butt, her use of the “crack attack” is all wrong and falls in the category of a definite don’t.

This is an easy one. Just like your mother used to say before she was hit by that car that had AIDS on it, “Don’t follow the leader.” Butt cleavage is nothing to toy with and nothing that should be used simply because others are. It’s like jenkem that way.

This is always a very difficult one for me personally. Here we have a very attractive lady who has “accidentally” exposed her butt cleavage in an attempt to impress the man to her right. She is obviously a very strong woman as she acts for herself and is taking care of her own bag. This guy is definitely impressed. However, she is also in a squatting position, which can not help but remind the male of the species that girls do actually go to the bathroom. It only occurs once every eight months, and it’s localized to a special island near Cuba, but it is a fact. Though her approach is nobel and sound, she relies heavily on the memory of the male to remember this simple fact. This falls in-between the do and don’t qualification as it involves an unknown variable – the individual at which the action is directed.

The First Date BC. This is an easy one as it is solved with this simple rhyme: “If they can’t see, feel free to let it breathe.”

The laws of this country are simple and holy in my eyes, as long as they dwell on stone and are held in the Great Temple it shall always ring true. Dude butt cleavage is NEVER, under no circumstances, without a shadow of doubt, not allowed. There is nothing gained from dude BC but sorrow. Each time dude BC is exposed an angel dies, and not fast, it’s slow and grueling. It is beyond contestation that dude BC is the Universe’s most holy of don’ts.

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One response

29 07 2010
Pat Mucha

I think mike has a picture of my butt cleavage and I’m a little sad it didn’t make the grade for this blog.

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