Jersey Shore, Season 2, Episode 3

13 08 2010

Since the past episode, two quotes have echoed in my brain. Ronnie telling Sammi, “I love you so much and that’s my downfall.” and Pauly D telling Angelina, “You don’t have me and you don’t have Situation. So who do you have? No one.” Both quotes exemplify the two main arcs of Season 2 so far: Will Ronnie’s creeping get the best of him and will Angelina ever stop being such a huge, huge bitch.  

Angelina, alone, reflects on why she felt the need to talk shit about the girls to J420, Joey Yanks, and Bill.

 The Episode  

– They began the episode as the last one ended, but they still have not resolved the Tenders issue. Did they ever get to eat those Tenders? What about the Tenders!?  

– “Pauly is like the nicest kid in the house.” JWoww on her surprise at Pauly’s anger toward Angelina. I always like it when adults refer to other adults as kids. It reminds me of when Gerald Henderson of Duke said, “I didn’t mean to hurt the kid” after he broke Psycho T’s nose. That was actually weirder because Hansbrough was 37 years old his Senior year at UNC.  

– “I didn’t smack you at all.” Angelina on her not smacking Pauly when she most certainly did. After she said this, The Situation took off his sunglasses demonstrating his indignation. When The Situation takes off his shades at 3 in the morning you know a…Situation is going down.  

– “I can’t believe she would step on the only toes she had in the house.” Pauly D on Angelina’s bitch performance. This is actually a pretty good metaphor. The Situation and Pauly were the two toes. And a house, being two feet in this scenario, can only have two toes. Well done, sir.  

– “Let the girls breathe.” JWoww on her work shirt suffocating her massive fake breasts. Amen Jwoww, amen.  

– “Vincenzo you’re going to be the king of the sandwich.” Enzo, the boss, on Vinny’s sandwiching abilities. This is random, but does anyone recall the head mob boss from The Simpsons episode “Homie the Clown?” The mob boss, Don Vittorio, told Krusty, “You have brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype.” Hopefully, at the end of the season Enzo will tell the gang that they’ve brought great joy to an old Italian stereotype, meaning him, Enzo the Gelato shop owner.  

Don Vittorio


– “Do whatever you came here to do. I’m going to do whatever I came here to do.” Pauly D to Angelina on not accepting her apology. Cross Pauly D at your own risk and be warned that he will set you straight with an incredibly vague statement.  

– “Let’s do this Brutus.” Ronnie to Vinny on them going to get their haircut at the black barbershop. They were both very concerned that it wouldn’t go well. Fortunately, the black barbers did a good job, which means that Vinny and Ronnie have saved America’s race relations.  

– The Situation organizing the house meeting where he recommended working out the Angelina problem was actually a pretty good idea, but he did have a personal motivation. Angelina hanging around him and Pauly all the time really hurts his ability to creep and if The Situation can’t creep then he’s not much of a Situation at all.  

– “I think Albert Einstein should comeback and rewrite his laws of physics and rework them around Jenny’s tits.” Vinny on JWoww’s huge fake breasts. I bet Einstein would get drunk at the club, try to grab JWoww’s breasts, get punched in the face, and then proclaim that “every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” During his GTL session Einstein would sober up and realize that Newton already thought of that. Sorry, Vinny.  

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." Albert Einstein on JWoww's fake breasts, which are absolutely not affected by gravity.

 – CCTT founder Dan commented that the gang’s willingness to accept someone only after they admitted to shit talking was probably similar to the way cavemen behaved. “Me Og. Why u tell Johnny Yanks I no wipe ass.”  

– “You’re a fucking bitch.” Ronnie to Sammi on her being a fucking bitch.  

– I think Sammi’s constant need to be taken home is hurting this season. Every time she goes home JWoww goes home, which means less time at the club shaking her fake breasts, fighting bitches, and, God willing, cheating on her boyfriend.  

– “That by getting into a fight he’s allowed to creep.” Pauly D on Ronnie’s attitude toward his relationship with Sammi. I don’t see anything wrong with Ronnie’s logic. I had a girlfriend once and every time she yelled at me for overcooking our chicken tenders I went out to the bar and got creepy as shit.  

– “She was fine…(something in Italian, then laughs hysterically)” Ronnie said this then fell on the floor. I think Pauly D may have been on to something when he said that Ronnie’s drinking was problematic.  

– On their chalkboard, behind the bean bag chair it says, “Grenade Free Foundation” or GFF. This is a non-profit organization that Pauly D and The Situation co-chair. I encourage you to go to their website and give what you can because it’s for a good cause. Don’t you want to live in a Grenade free world? I know I do.  

– “Want to fuck…(burp)” Snooki to Vinny. It’s unclear whether they copulated, but it’s safe to say they did.  

– Earlier in the episode Pauly D said he’d never rat Ronnie out to the girls. He told JWoww in the morning about Ronnie’s creeping. That’s The Situation rubbing off on Pauly D. That’s classic Situation and not classic Pauly D.  

– “You’re my girl.” Ronnie to Sammi in the Gelato shop. After he does this some random employee looks at Sammi, smiles, and gives her the ‘what’s up?’ look. That was by far my favorite part of the episode.  

– MVP, ‘nough said. Their plan to ditch Angelina was brilliant. She turns around for a second and they sprint out. This only works on JERSEY SHORE because normal girls don’t wear six-inch heels and would be more likely to catch up with them.  

– “I’m like hot and bothered.” One of the Grenades to Pauly D on her getting all hot and bothered. Don’t you people get it? If you would have given money to GFF this would never have happened.  

– “Oh, it hurts my vagina…no I like it.” Snooki on her vag getting hurt by the giant statue of a dog, which the Situation thought was a camel. Snooki’s favorite John Mellencamp song is “Hurts So Good.”  

– Ronnie rubbed Sammi’s back to prove that he was sorry about going out with the guys when just five minutes earlier he said he’d stay in with her. Personally, I don’t understand why she’s so mad. I mean, he did rub her back and stuff. 




4 responses

13 08 2010
Paul G

Such eloquent words. I feel like I was there. I feel like Jersey trash.

13 08 2010

“She was fine…(something in Italian, then laughs hysterically)” Ronnie said this then fell on the floor..….

Actually what he said was “toma, toma, ven aqui, toma” which is Spanish. Which roughly translated means “come let me give it to you

Ronnie is half puerto rican

13 08 2010

And no mention of the chicken cutlet??

13 08 2010

Thanks Strega we do this recap mostly on instinct and that’s good to know for the future. Hopefully, Ronnie will continue to get drunk and be sexually suggestive in Spanish. It makes for quality entertainment and the ladies love it.

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