Todd’s Taste of the Town, Reviewed!

14 09 2010

For the past three years, ESPN’s Todd Blackledge has treated college football viewers with his in-game segment, “Todd’s Taste of the Town.” The basic premise is to send Todd into a college town restaurant (usually a beloved dive), and have him eat the grossest thing on the menu. Todd takes you through the entire cooking process (deep-frying, layering cheese, applying the gravy) until he is served a fantastic plate of slop. Then he takes a bite, chews, then utters one of his completely unmemorable lines such as, “mmm.. that’s good” or “that’s the stuff.”

Like any great piece of media, we decided it was high-time TOTT got the reviewer treatment. The key to a good TOTT is broken up into the following criteria (25 points for each):

1. “Dive-ness / Hole in the Wallish” – The place should ideally be fairly grungy, with an authentic college atmosphere. Should be family-owned, and the fatter the staff, the better the food. You don’t go to this place for a salad.
2. Heart-attack Likeliness – The food should be deep-fried, covered with a thick sauce, and involve as much cheese as humanly possible. The sort of food you eat that makes you wonder what you’re doing with your life.
3. Signature Dish Name – This should be a play on words or anything that describes how bad it is for you. (i.e. Death in a Bowl, the Heart-Stopper, etc.)
4. Todd’s Reaction Phrase – What Todd says after he takes his first bite. This is purely a judgment call on our part. Extra points are given anytime he exclaims, “Woo-wee.”

Restaurant: The Thurman Café in Columbus, Ohio.
Dish: “The Thurmanator”

"Hasta la vista, Arteries."

Todd begins by educating us about the restaurant’s history. The Suclescy family immigrated over to the US, and made a killing by recognizing that Americans love greasy, heart-stopping food. We get shots of their assortment of dishes, including a Coney hot dog that looks pretty damn good. That’s when Todd teases us by saying that they are known for their burgers, before showing us massive slabs of meat smothered in all sorts of toppin’s.

Now Todd sets up at the table, ready to tackle the Thurmanator. Here is the description from the website. “Our head honcho overloaded with ham, mozzarella, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, mushrooms, sautéed onions, pickle, peppers, and mayo with chips and a pickle spear.” Our interest is at a fever pitch. Todd is served the dish, stares at it, and then declares, “I hope I can finish by kickoff!” That’s all fine and good, but Todd didn’t take a bite! Perhaps he got wind we were reviewing him and Todd got stage-fright. Needless to say, I haven’t been this disappointed since I saw the alien in Signs. We go back to the broadcasting booth, where Todd explains that he ate the whole thing.

"I swear! I ate the whole thing!"

Todd, don’t bullshit us. We spend our whole miserable week looking forward to you eating an abomination, and then you don’t even taste it in front of us! I had no clue how you were going to take a bite, and obviously neither did you. Pictures of you eating it or it didn’t happen.

1. “Dive-ness” – 25. Oh yeah, place had a bunch of old-timey stuff on the wall and people were lined up outside to slowly kill themselves. America’s Back!
2. Heart-attack Likeliness: 25. That burger was no joke. I get ecstatic/depressed every time I look at it.
3. Signature Dish Name: 20. The Thurmanator is a solid name for your flagship burger.
4. Todd’s Reaction Phrase: 0. You didn’t take a bite, so there is no reaction! Todd, you owe myself and the rest of college football an apology. Don’t ever pull this again.

Total Score: 75 (Out of 100). C. That’s average.

This is not an indictment of the fine-dining establishment, the Thurman Café, but more on Todd’s lackadaisical attitude toward the whole thing. We trust you Mr. Blackledge. Please don’t let us down again.

But what does the CCTT community think about this?  Like Todd’s Taste of the Town? Hate it? Let us know in the comments.




2 responses

22 09 2010
30 07 2013
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Hurrah, that’s what I was looking for, what a information! present here at this weblog, thanks admin of this website.

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