Fantasy Football Press Conference Week 2

20 09 2010

Week 1 ( saw Mr. Fierce’s Boxslayers squeak out a victory. He was not as fortunate in Week 2. We caught up with him at the conclusion of the Saints game. He was not happy, but agreed to speak with us anyway.

Q: Eli got his shit pushed in against the Colts. When you speak to him this week, how will you help him get his head straight?

A: My other QB is Matthew Stafford, who is currently hurt. I don’t have many other places to turn to, but I will tell him that he embarrassed me as well as his parents by getting shown up by Peyton. For the next week, I will call him She-Li to motivate him. No one likes being referred to as a girl.

Q: For the second week in a row you left Jahvid Best on your bench. After he gained 220 total yards and three TDs this week, on a scale of 1 to 10, how stupid are you?

Shit. 11? Jahvid told me he was requesting a trade from my team after this week, but I agreed to wash his Bentley for a week and then start him, so we’re all good. He also requested that I start calling him Jahvid “The” Best. So I have to do that the rest of the season.

"You Best use ArmorAll, bitch."

Q: You’ve been calling Darren McFadden “Run DMC.” Everyone thinks it’s lame, including McFadden himself. Will you continue using this nickname in Week 3?

A: Run DMC is an awesome name. They wrote “Dude, Looks Like a Lady.” Next question.

Q: Maurice Jones-Drew is off to a slow start. Would you say that he’s lost his…mojo?

A: Didn’t you just give me shit for “Run DMC”? And yes, he has lost his Mojo.

Q: You left Kenny Britt on the bench this week. Is that because you still don’t know who he is or is it part of some overall strategy?

Is this Kenny Britt? Or Waldo Geraldo Faldo?

A: I thought I dropped him, thanks for calling me out for that.

This week’s final score: The Bom Trady 102, Mr. Fierce’s Boxslayers 99

Mr. Fierce’s Boxslayers: 1-1

And now for your listening and viewing pleasure we leave you with .38 Special’s “Fantasy Girl.”




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