Jersey Shore, Season 2, Episode 10

1 10 2010

Can you believe it’s been ten episodes already? Yeah, me neither. That’s approximately 400 minutes of Jersey Shore. That’s approximately 400 minutes of beauty. That’s approximately 400 minutes of pain…

The Episode

– “Everyone knows that I’m the glue of this family.” The Situation. We began with the remnants of his brawl with Angelina and, as the glue/hair gel that holds this “family” together, The Situation was justifiably upset with Angelina and her Spartan ways.

– “You wanna fuck ten guys in one day. You can. That’s your fucking business.” Gina to Angelina. Now is a good time to point out how weird it is that Angelina’s best friend’s name is Gina. Did they become friends because of the rhyming factor? Because they’re both pretty repulsive? Because they both believe there’s nothing wrong with sleeping with ten guys in one day?

– “Dirty Girl.” Several of the guys referred to Angelina as this throughout the episode. I think it’s because she’s slutty and refuses to do dishes.

– Here’s a link to the original Rob and Big “Dirty Girl” video.

– “He looks like he’s fifty years old.” Angelina on The Situation’s aging face. You’re wrong Angelina. He doesn’t look a day over 37.

– “Do you know how many fist fights I’m going to get in now?” Angelina to Gina on how her confrontation levels will soar when Gina leaves. I guess Gina functions as the friend who holds the other friend back who doesn’t really want to fight, but just wants to appear as he or she does. “Hold me back, bro.” That works because Angelina and Gina refer to each other as “bro.” Maybe they both had sex changes. I believe it.

– “T-Shirt time.” Those funny voices Ronnie, Pauly, and Vinny are the most genuine moments of the series. It’s actually pretty funny and qualifies as normal dude behavior. I’m not saying that I want to hang out with them (I lack the abs and the v-necks), but it’s probably the closest JS comes to “reality.”

– “What type of pajams do you want?” – The Situation to Samantha, The Canadian. I wanted to find a picture to accompany this so I googled images “funny pajamas.” The below picture was on the first page.

Sweet Pajams

– “You’re a nobody.” Samantha to a girl who tried to dance on The Situation. I’m starting to suspect that she’s not Canadian. I’ve been under the impression that Canadians are mild mannered. They genuinely enjoy Curling, listen to the Barenaked Ladies, and think Dave Coulier is funny. Were Samantha’s actions consistent with Canadian values? I think not.

– The picture below raises two very important questions? One, why does their supposedly sweet, expensive Miami house have a bunch of floor fans. This is The Smush Room, but they’re all over. Does this house not have AC? Are they just more comfortable using these fans? Two, why is The Situation wearing white socks to bed with Samantha. He knows he’s going to smush. That just seems like a completely un-Situation move. I’ve never heard him say, “Here’s the thing. If you don’t keep your socks on before you smush you don’t know what’s up.” Also, if the socks are to keep him warm then why do they need the floor fan?

“I love Canada.” The Situation’s post-coital exclamation. He’s going to be super embarrassed when he finds out she’s actually from Utica, New York and claims Canadian heritage due to a fourth grade day trip to Niagara Falls.

– “She’s eating an egg sandwich with the MVP. You don’t find em like that these days.” The Situation on Samantha staying to eat an egg sandwich with the gang, oh excuse me, family. It would have been nice if he would pronounce it “sangwich” but maybe he didn’t want to step on Pauly’s toes. He’s the sangwich guy.

– “I love you, bro” Gina to Angelina as she left Miami. Again with the “bros.”

– “She is ugly!” CCTT co-founder Mike upon seeing Gina one last time. He’s right you know. About Gina? About everything, dammit!

– “It smells like cheese in this car.” Unknown JS dude. Pauly then later declared that the “bacon” on the sandwich is what stunk up the car. We liked that.

– “Cause I’m not going on match.com again.” Snooki on why she wanted to meet another guy, which us leads up to her Juice-head requirement list.

Listen up!

– “Tan guido, juice-head gorilla” That’s not too hard to come by.

-“Big sense of humor” Huh? He doesn’t need to be funny, just really loud. Like loud/big enough to be heard across a room.

– “Likes to party” self-explanatory

– ‘Fist pumps” should be self-explanatory, but that could be sexual innuendo. You know what I’m saying.

– “Frolics.” What? That sounds kind of effeminate. I don’t think Juice-heads and Frolickers share similarities.

– “Isn’t a jerk off” self-explanatory, light sexual innuendo.

– “A dork at heart” Don’t really get that. Maybe she should go after Jose. His Argyle sweater could be considered dorky, at least in terms of the JS crew.

– “smells good” self-explanatory, massive sexual innuendo.

– “pays for meals” see above picture.

– “Nympho” JWoww made a “mmm” noise after this. It was creepy.

– “Likes pickles.” Self explanatory with massive gay sexual innuendo.

– “Takes an interest in my hobbies.” What hobbies, though? Buying dumb sunglasses, vodka, blurred underwear/cooter shots?

– “Very protective” – self-explanatory with safe sex sexual innuendo.

– “Not so serious” You’re name’s Snooki. You don’t even need to put that on the list.

– “Romantical” not a word, but could contradict the protective and not so serious sides of her man.

– “Likes to sleep in” self-explanatory with weird, sleep walking sexual innuendo.

Sorry to keep going back to google images, but this was too hard to resist and I also hope it may clear up some confusion. This is the third image when I typed in “frolic” and it seems like the kind of thing Snooki would dig.

– No hair off my back.” Ronnie, the king of the malapropism. Yes, we went there.

– “…it defied the rules of T-shirt time.” Vinny on his perfectly balanced and clean v-neck. Possible foreshadowing? Vinny’s defying the T-Shirt Time gods. Will they condemn him by introducing him to a girl who he falls in love with after meeting her for 2o minutes only to have her stand him up? That would then cause him to sit by himself with a red solo cup.

– “It’s crazy. I’ve never had that feeling before.” Pauly D’s girl to Pauly on their blossoming “that feeling.” As she said this Snookie walked across the frame, dancing weirdly, and looking like an overweight insect.

– “…that I can’t stand any of yous!” Angelina to the entire house. The “yous” indicated that she was dead serious.

– “I didn’t want anything to happen to that table.” The Situation on why he moved the table during the fight. We really enjoyed that.

– At the end of the fight Snooki picked up a fish bowl filled with shells like she was going to throw it at Angelina. We wish she did. We wish she did.

– “To call me fake is just blasphemy. To talk against the leader like that. In other countries you get hunged for shit like that. ” The Situation. Look for the picture below to be turned into a poster titled, “Leaders.” Coming to an ironic dorm room near you!

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