Jersey Shore, Season 2, Episode 11

8 10 2010

This episode was fairly tame. Yes there were fights and attempted sexual assaults (The Situation), but that’s pretty standard fare at this point. We were just missing something, but to be clear that missing element was not Angelina.

The Episode

– “This is someone else’s dream/one I don’t want to leave.” Lyrics from the song that played as the JS crew woke up the morning after Angelina left. That’s powerful stuff. I’m glad Angelina’s gone. She was a bitch. And she was fat. And she probably smelt.

– “She’s so big, dawg. She broke the bed, dawg.” The Situation to Pauly on Angelina breaking her bed. I’m fairly positive she didn’t smush there so the break must be due to her general largeness.

– “We can bring girls in here. We can do whatever we want.” Pauly on the new-found freedom of their room. Pauly later did jumping jacks in the vacant spot to really hammer in that fact.

– “Snooki and JWoww’s two minute attempt to keep a lobster (Charlie) as a pet has overtaken the Diane Keaton and Woody Allen Annie Hall lobster scene in the pantheon of great crustacean moments. No contest. The Annie Hall scene was iconic, but this is definitely more important. In Annie Hall the lobster fun they had was a metaphor for how innocent and wild new love can be. Snooki and Jwoww’s lobster scene was more politically charged and will prove to be more relevant historically. They didn’t realize that a lobster in fresh water had no chance of survival, which is a metaphor for President Obama. He has interesting ideas (pet lobster), but without the full support of Congress and the American people (salt water) he cannot survive. Annie Hall was fun, but we’re dealing with heady, political shit here.

– “Charlie’s freaking dead now!” Pauly on Charlie the lobster’s death.

– Vinny clipped his nails while he waited for Ramona to show. I hope he disposed of the clippings.

– So we now know that Ramona is Romanian. With the JS exposure it’s possible that she could become the America Ferrara of Romania or possibly the Mongolia Lamborgina of Romania. All she needs is a dream and first name that’s the same as her country’s.

 

Mongolia Lamborgina

 

– “Does anyone want cookies, bro?” Pauly. Upon hearing this Ronnie flipped for some reason. It seemed a bit harsh. How dare you ask me if I want cookies. That’s fucked up, bro.

– “Back in the day the had the prophesy that one day there would be the pimp of all pimps and his name would be The Situation.” The Situation. I’d be really impressed if Nostradamus had the foresight to predict that the pimp’s awful white vest with a giant crucifix on the back. That would be more impressive than his Hitler prediction because it’s not like Nostradamus said anything about Hitler having that mustache.

 

and his vest shall have a giant crucifix

 
– “Eh, you looking good girl!” Some random dude to Snooki as she walked out of the liquor store. I’m so glad Ryder came down to Miami because she got to see what Snooki’s life has become: cat calls from liquor store strangers.

– “Hello palace of love…Cabs are here!…T-shirt time!” Pauly.

– “My grandpoppy was a pimp. His grandpoppy was a pimp.” The Situation. I wonder if the Situation’s great-great grandpoppy went to 19th century Italian parties, groped strangers, slapped women, and then, after forty-five minutes, demanded that everyone leave?

– The Situation was a big creep this episode. He was weirdly aggressive with the girls at the club, he tried to make out with Snooki, he later slapped her, and constantly demanded that everyone leave early. This was juxtaposed with his talking heads where he talked about how he was the group’s leader and that everyone knew that he rounded people up because rounding people up to leave was his thing. It kind of depressed me. I like a happy Situation. Not a brooding in the corner staring at Romanian women Situation.

-Also, Vinny may be on to something when he says that The Situation may be obsessed with him. We know The Situation likes to pull a robbery, but it seems to occur often with Vinny’s girls. Also, he kissed Snooki who most likely felated Vinny earlier this season. So, in conclusion, cheer up Situation. We miss the old Situation. The one who happily ate egg sangwiches and watched people fornicate.

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