Review: Hardee’s Philly Cheesesteak Burger

14 10 2010

We’ve all seen the commercials, a couple of Philly fatties in a sub shop who get the call for a “Cheesesteak on a buwger” and are floored by the idea. It’s simply unfathomable. This is of course a horribly clever marketing campaign regarding the new Hardee’s Philly Cheesesteak Burger, and as an all American man, it was my duty to review such a momentous feat of human ingenuity.

I eat a lot of shitty food, which I usually love – as long as it’s smothered in grease, cheese and sauce… any kind of sauce, it doesn’t really matter. So, one would think that this would be a slam dunk of a review. WRONG!

The burger itself was overpowered by the pepper/onion/double-cheese/minute-steak combo and rightfully so, but in an effort to hold onto that burger taste Hardee’s added a horrible flame-broiled flavor to the burger that did not work with the cheesesteak accoutrement. (Anyone that hates Burger King for this very same taste, can expect the same disappointment.)

My patented “Middle of the Burg Bite” was pleasant and cheesy with a hint of green peppers, but once again left me with a polluted chargrilled taste in my mouth. Which brought the original 8 score quickly down to a 5.3

The cheese level was the best thing that came out of this experiment. The burger was practically floating in melted goodness. A true Philly showing. Said cheese within the burger was completely indiscernible, which is neither a good thing nor a bad thing. It’s like seeing an attractive Tranny.

[Side note: When you say you have “cross-cut fries” please be honest with me and admit you’re giving me waffle fries. There is no need for the deception. Kinda like the time I pretended I was the grown-up fat Hanson brother. Simply no need. Side Side Note: There was one regular fry within my batch of “cross-cut” which shows a complete lack of quality control, as well as, a lack of consideration for paying customers that perhaps got frazzled at the register and now regret their decision of not getting regular fries – big slap in the face.]

In the end, I would say that the burger most reminded me of a mixture of dog food and doo-doo. Not to say that the two aren’t good and fine in their own respects, but when put together don’t mix nearly as well as you’d think. I would only recommend this burger to the most die-hard fast food connoisseurs. Those that are in it to say, “Yeah, I’ve climbed the mountain, but I knew it was a South Jersey landfill the whole way up.”

Actual Burger:

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