Jersey Shore, Season 2, Episode 12

15 10 2010

At this point everyone is aware that The Situation was kicked off Dancing With The Stars this week. This current decline in his faux celebrity mirrors his decline in this season’s Jersey Shore. CCTT feels that British historian Arnold J. Toynbee was correct when he said, “Civilizations die by suicide, not by murder.” The Situation is killing himself out there and it’s a damn shame.

The Episode

– “This is the phone that wait three hours for you to call at.” Vinny’s drunken, not so veiled criticism of Ramona. If you remember, Ramona left Vinny out to dry in episode 8, but she didn’t this time. They had sex and we got to see that she had a tramp stamp. I guess slutty girls have tramp stamps everywhere, even in Romania. Vinny smush smush.

– During The Situation’s apology to Snooki he was holding at least eight or nine twenty dollar bills. It’s hard to say what that’s for, but maybe The Situation brings it to soften his prey up or to ease his pain if the upset party doesn’t accept his apology.

– “my nugget” Ryder to Snooki during their much, much too emotional goodbye. Snooki’s tear prompted JWoww to cry and Snooki to sobbingly declare that, “I have fun when I’m (sob) at home with my real fucking people.”

 

I really need to try Wendy's spicy chicken nuggets

 

– “You’re going to see her in a week.” Vinny to Snooki and what really proved how ridiculous Snooki was behaving. This is episode 12 and there’s only one more. You’re leaving in a week.

– “We’re going to Spaaace!” Snooki.

– “Ehh…looks good.” Pauly to JWoww when she came out looking like a whore from space. When I google imaged “whore from space” this was the second picture listed, which proved that you cannot escape your reputation.

 

Space Whore Smush Smush

 

– “Did you hear that? Fuck You!” The Situation to some random guys at Space. This eventually got them kicked out of the club.

– “You’re cock blocking the whole world right now.” Pauly D’s blonde girl to The Situation. Ouch.

– “Go in the other room!” The Situation to the girl who wouldn’t sleep with him. Blonde girl’s friend no smush smush now.

– “I need someone who knows how to take one for the team, entertain a grenade, decipher a bomb if if one comes. It’s a war out there.” Pauly D on The Situation’s shitty wing-man abilities. The Situaiton is really going down hill now. Blonde girls who go home with guys like Pauly are scoring zingers on him, his buddies are telling the camera that he can’t wing-man, and he’s starting to become a genuine ass-hole, which is much different from the funny kind of ass-hole he’s been this entire season. Also, The Situation seemed liquor drunk when he’s being really rude to that girl because she wasn’t whoreish enough. That’s going down the wrong path, Situation. Check yourself, bro.

– “She’s just a grenade…and I’m not like putting effort into something I don’t want to do.” The Situation completely lying to JWoww. Now he’s lying to Space Whore!

– “Yo, wanna know something that’s crazy? At one point we all didn’t know any of us. Like, you know what I’m saying. Now look at us. We all know each other’s fraws, we all know how to push each other’s buttons, we all know what Snooki’s koo-kah looks like…Salute with the kool-aid!” Pauly D at their family dinner.

– “You look Asian. I like it.” Ronnie to Sammi. She did not like this because Ronnie has an Asian ex-girlfriend. I was kind of surprised that this upset Sammi so much, but I was even more surprised that Ronnie had an Asian ex-girlfriend. Everything about Ronnie seems to clash with Asian culture. He’s always getting sloppy drunk, fighting strangers, and he doesn’t seem very good at math. Actually, though, the more I think about it the more this makes sense. Ronnie’s very disrespectful to women (motor boating bitches while dating Sammi) and so are Asians (feet binding and killing baby girls). Ronnie, like all Italian men, loves his parents and Asiatic cultures place a premium on respecting elders.  Also, Ronnie is really short and so are most Asians who aren’t Yao Ming.

– The two Canadian girls who Pauly and The Situation brought home looked like dudes with fake breasts, especially Pauly’s girl. Canada’s socialized health care must have cheap, really shitty tranny operations. Ironically, The Really Shitty Tranny Operations is the name of my K.D. Lang cover band.

 

actually is a woman

 

– The Situation and Pauly D both went to bed with socks on again. All the JS people seem to do this. I guess It’s a Jersey Thing. Thanks South Park. Smush Smush.

We’ll see everyone next Thursday for the season 2 finale. It will be interesting to see if The Situation will redeem himself in the eyes of his roommates and his Maker.

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