FazzztFood Adventurezzz! – Chicken Flatbread Sandwich

29 11 2010

This is gonna be a quick one, because that’s what a 99 cent Taco Bell Chicken Flatbread Sandwich deserves.

The meat distribution was uneven and even sparse to non-existent in some bites.  This was coupled with an awkward tasting sauce that was slathered on in an attempt to hide the lack of meat. A cover-up of epic proportions; similar to the cover-up the nazi’s propagated when the Red Cross came to visit the concentration camps.

Even though I was not pleased, I must say the microwaved chicken was very tender – most likely a cancer causing ingredient TB added.  The sandwich was cheesy, but seemed to be so in order to once again cover-up the lack of meat, quality and all around cheapness.

Originally I was going to give this sandwich a B-, but after finishing it and wrapping up the wrapper I came face to face with a solid lake of condensation that had built up on my table from the steaming pile of sandwich. At first, hoping to find Lock Ness in the abyss, I ventured further, but then I found myself face to face with a soaking wrapper and the desire to reverse time in order to not have eaten this 99 cent delight. In the end, the Taco Bell Chicken Flatbread Sandwich receives a C grade. I’m never going back, but in a pinch it’d be a toss up between it and my own feces.

Interesting fact, when I was eating said sandwich, I farted – I know this was a unique and pungent fart because of the previous evening’s diet of heavy liquor, Natty Light and clam chowder combo – but yet, I could not smell said fart when eating my Taco Bell. I’m still reeling about if this was a good or bad thing – does the smell cover-up mean I’m saving time with food that resembles the smell of farts because I won’t have to spend as much time digesting? Or does it mean I’m closer to eating shit than I know? These are the real questions in life that keep me awake each and every lonely night.

But, alas, I have not the time to continually ponder, another adventure awaits!

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