Ricky Gervais “Offsides” as Pro Bowl Host

30 01 2011

Honolulu, HI – Only weeks after the comedians controversial Golden Globes hosting appearance, the NFL decided to stay the course and let Gervais host the Pro Bowl’s Saturday night dinner gala. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell felt that Gervais learned a lesson after the Globes fallout and wouldn’t perform any risqué material, but it turned out that the commissioner was utterly wrong. The players, their families, friends, and media in attendance were completely blindsided

Gervais started the evening rather innocuously by calling out Peyton Manning for being, “one of the NFL’s all time great quarterbacks and the world’s ugliest commercial spokesman.” Gervais stayed on quarterbacks, but cut deeper when he said, “Drew Brees has brought hope to the people of New Orleans. And if he could only bring jobs, money, education, adequate health care, and take down local corruption he would actually be making fucking difference.”

Gervais almost got the crowd back when he called on New England guard Logan Mankins for being one the leagues “unsung heroes.” He squashed any goodwill, though, when he went on to say, “It really is unfortunate that the fans and media don’t recognize the importance of the offensive lineman. Actually is it that unfortunate? They’re a bunch of fat guys who can’t throw, catch, or run. Honestly, who gives a shit?” The comedian’s final joke went over even worse and created a very icy atmosphere when he said, “Look everyone it’s Ray Lewis. One of the great NFL linebackers of all time. And also, its most unheralded murderer. Ray, listen mate, I think it’s total bull shit that you didn’t get credit  for killing that bloke. That’s just not right.” Gervais was ushered quickly off the stage after that.

After the ceremony the media was quick to place the blame on Gervais and the NFL for selecting him as the night’s host. ESPN’s John Clayton declared, “Gervais was incredibly inappropriate, but I feel that the NFL should have had greater foresight with their choice as host. The Pro Bowl is about celebrating what’s great about the NFL and ignoring anything controversial. For example, if was to bring up Ben Rothelisberg’s history of sexual assault it would be incredibly inappropriate and counterproductive. Big Ben might be a big rapist, but he’s the starting quarterback for a team in the Super Bowl. It’s best just to steer clear of that issue.”

Clayton then paused and added, “Oh, shit.”

Gervais has declared that “He wouldn’t host the Pro Bowl dinner again even if he was asked.” He then added that he was most likely going to “regroup and refocus on the career of Karl Pilkington.” Commissioner Goodell could not be reached for comment and is speculated to be standing somewhere with a stone faced look.

stone faced

Watch the video below if you want to get a feel for Ricky’s predecessor in uncomfortable sports hosting.




One response

31 01 2011
Carlos Spiceyweiner

I can’t believe they keep letting this buffoon ruin our most sacred events. The golden globes? ok, but the Pro Bowl??? Dude needs to learn some manners.

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