Jersey Shore, Season 4, Episode 8

22 09 2011

Let’s just do this.

The Episode

– “Okay. 0.0.” Italian police officer to Snooki post-breathalyzer. That will be the last time Snooki ever hears “O.0” word come out of an officer’s mouth.

– “Were you drunk?” Jionni after Snooki told him about the accident. If that’s the first thing your boyfriend asks you after you’ve informed him you’ve been in a car accident then it’s pretty clear that your relationship has no future. Were you drunk? On street drugs? On prescription drugs? Were you texting while driving? Were you adjusting your fake breasts while making an illegal left turn? Okay, okay fine: Are you okay?

– Pauly D wore a Kiss tee-shirt to the club. I didn’t know he was a fan, but I do suppose that Pauly D and Kiss have a lot in common and I’m not just talking about how they both like to rock and roll all night and party every day: Pauly D is an artist, a DJ artist, and so are the members of Kiss. Seriously, check out this painting by Paul Stanley called “Infinite Solitude.” Frankly, I don’t even know why he bothered to give it a name because it’s pretty darn obvious to anyone with eyes that this painting is all about infinite solitude.

– And Vinny wore a Rolling Stones shirt! And boy does he look good in it. Talk about Sympathy For The Devil! Hehe!

– “Where’s Mike?” Brittany. She’s back and so is Mr. Brittany’s shame and humiliation. His daughter has slept with, been dumped by, and now is stalking TVs sleaziest individual. Do you think he would have preferred her appearing on Teen Mom?

– “You’re a wildebeast.” Snooki on Brittany’s craziness. Even Snooki’s scoring points off Mr. Brittany’s daughter!

– “I already got a bun in the oven, no need to warm another one up.” The Situation on why he chose to hook up with Brittany and send the Australian girl home. The Aussie was tossed out by The Situation just as unceremoniously as her criminal forefathers were shipped out of Great Britain by the English. And that’s the second time The Situation was compared to the British government. The first time was when I refered to The Situation as “The Magna Carta of reality TV” because nothing like him had been seen before.

– “His wiener’s tan and I love it.” Snooki on Jionni’s tan wiener. I’m assuming you’ve got go spray tan for the wiener because any other form of tanning would be too dangerous.

– Pauly wore a Run DMC shirt the second night they went out. He’s going to Rock some Boxes tonight!

– “I’ve never loved something so much in my entire life.” Jionni to Snooki. Another phrase Snooki will never hear again.

– “I don’t want to like kick your boyfriend in the head, but I feel like he’s looking at me. Is there a problem?” The Situation to Snooki.

– “You’re dancing like a fucking whore.” Jionni to Snooki while she danced and lifted up her skirt so everyone could see her tiny black thong. Wise words from a wise man.

– “She’s embarrassing me!” Jionni while storming out of the club post-Snooki’s underwear showing dance. Yes, that was embarrassing, but didn’t you see the first three seasons of the show? Jionni is like someone who buys a chihuahua and then complains when it barks too much.

– “I don’t deserve this right now.” Snooki post-Jionni running away due to the purposeful underwear flashing. Eh, actually Snooki, you totally deserve it (Re: Underwear showing to entire club).

– “It’s the life you walked into.” Ronnie to Jionni on why he shouldn’t expect any better behavior from Snooki. Ronnie’s on my side. Jionni knew what he was getting into and doesn’t have much of  a right to complain. And let’s not forget that he get’s to be on TV! Whoo!

– “Why me? Why me?” Snooki to Jionni when he wanted nothing to do with her when he returned to the house. Snooki’s behavior is what I like to call a self-Gillooly.

– Best part of the episode: Snooki laid in bed right after Jionni said “see ya. you’re single.” and you could totally see her underwear/kookah again! Talk about irony.

Well I guess the last will see of Jionni. And you know what else? Snooki and Jionni’s break up had absolutely nothing to do with The Situation. So I guess that all his karate talk and preparation banter was for naught.




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