Jersey Shore, Season 4, Episode 9

29 09 2011

Spoiler Alert! The author of this post decided tonight was the night he’d bare his soul to the world. And by soul I mean the shame and regret of not going with his mother on a Sound of Music Tour in 1998.

The Episode

– “I can’t lay here.” Snooki as she got up from bed the morning after Jionni left. As she got up they had to once again blur out her underwear/kookha. That’s called symbolism, man. The flashed underwear was why Jionni left in the first place. And speaking of Jionni, he may have left Florence, but I like to imagine that he didn’t just leave Italy and waste the trip. I hope he’s hitting every major tourist attraction Italy has to offer. He could take an 80 dollar gondola ride in Venice, check out all the cats in the Colosseum, and see if an Olive Garden in Italy lives up to Jersey’s high standards. Shit, maybe he could even get a Eurail pass and head up to Austria and do The Sound of Music tour. The hills are alive with the sound of guido…How do you solve a problem like a Snooki…Ed Hardy discounts and implants on women/Crappy house music and STD Livin’/GNC Packages tied up with strings/ These are a few of my favorite things!

– “Put the music a little louder.” Snooki while drinking and dancing in a bar by herself. She wore boots that looked like a pair of Albino Pekingese.

– “That’s not right! If he knew that this was gonna happen he should have fucking not came!” Mr. Snooki (Snooki’s Dad) on why it was wrong for Jionni to leave. Mr. S seems more upset at Jionni’s shitty logic than with him actually leaving his daughter alone and miserable.  The logic being that Jionni knew what Snooki was like (i.e. crazy drunken reality star with no regard for human life) and therefore should not expect anything different from her while visiting.

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